My year of saying yes to everything!
2022 is my year of saying yes to everything; my year of pushing out the boundaries and really stepping beyond the borders of my comfort zone into the beautiful unknown. This is my year of deliberately selling myself to the world in the only good, legitimate way that “selling oneself” can sound.
This is my year of going the full extent that God would take me, heavily relying on his help and guidance for every opportunity I explore. It’s been a year of amplifying the power of my vision and settling into the purpose of my calling.
This is my year of doing it — boots shaking, heart racing, fear filled, nervous, unsure — doing it anyway, and doing it every day.
…and this is my year of truly carpe-diem! Seizing the day and seizing every good opportunity that comes my way, so far as I believe realistically that I have a good shot at it, and it presents the platform for me to shine and share my light, connect with other leaders, and passionate changemakers. And I use the word “realistically” because we really can have self-aggrandized views of ourselves and of our capacities in the name of “keeping a positive self-image and outlook” that builds castles in the air, without giving them a solid foundation on the ground — and I would not wish to be so positive to the point of self-delusion.
It’s not been easy but it’s been immensely worth it. It’s been an amazingly inspiring journey not just for others but for myself as well, to see myself grow astronomically and step into unchartered territories.
I remember one particular incident about a month ago — I was asked to speak at the Development Impact West Africa (#DIWA) Summit in Accra Ghana, on a session on “Inclusion in Global Development Research: Experiences from West Africa.” Initially, I had wanted to pass it up to someone else, because I was nervous about doing it. And this is coming from a strong, smart woman who isn’t really afraid of doing things and even considers jumping out of an airplane to skydive as fun, rather than scary!
I later snapped out of it, giving myself the best, worst scenario: what’s the worst that can possibly happen? I flail? I make a mess out of things? I expose myself as an amateur in a room full of seasoned experts? I am unable to properly articulate my thoughts and impressions? I am so far away from the general thinking of others in the room that I am the laughable odd one? So what?! And so what?!
And so what if I fail or mess up? I am still young, and I am still learning, and that’s what really matters! It matters that I am learning and humbly hungry to improve upon myself — and sometimes there’s no better way to learn and gain experience than to plunge yourself into the thick of it! Flail and Fly!
If there is anything that has helped me to get ahead in all my years of working, it’s in acknowledging that I do not know everything, but I can know everything if I am willing to learn. Admitting that I do not know something takes nothing away from the person that I am — I am a quality, top gear human being, and I know it, and my admittance doesn’t change that. It only positions my disposition to become better by seeking right knowledge — that’s my mindset, and so I truly learn a lot within a short space of time. Try it!
So, I broke the fear and took the shot! I consulted my CEO (who by the way is a gem in human form), prepared and went. I sat there, listening to others in their sessions, and as we went for coffee and were returning for my session, my heart started pounding in my chest — my legs wanted to buckle beneath me, and I felt like using the bathroom because my bladder suddenly felt full — it was all just nerves, really.
I went to the bathroom and my period had just decided to choose that moment to say hello— 3 days earlier than expected and all from the effect of nervousness! What! Haha!
I did my damage control, and came out looking like I was born ready. Confident and in control! I took my seat on the stage and killed it! Who would’ve thought, right! It really was a great time.
And I had the opportunity to meet and share the stage with Candice Morkel the Director of CLEAR-AA, which was like a dream come true and then meet Ousseynou from Hewlett Foundation to talk more about our work and collaborations! I met several amazing people, translating into more opportunities not only for our organisation, but also for the people and interests we represent through our work in Africa. I was so glad I didn’t pass up the opportunity — and excelling that day affirmed my confidence and abilities.
So, do it scared! Do it anyway! Say yes to every great opportunity! It gets easier when you keep doing it! It’s okay to be nervous, it’s normal even to be scared, but don’t let it stop you from doing great things on any day.
So, this year, I’m saying yes to everything! And I’m suddenly realizing the vast support and opportunities there are for young people to thrive, and the endless support to strengthen capacity, change making, and leadership acumen on the continent and the globe. There are fellowship programmes, scholarships, mentorships, leadership conferences and workshops etc. that are designed to support distinguished young people.
It’s like the more your eyes open, the more your eyes get opened to the things around you. So, I am consciously taking my chances with them; hit or miss, fail or fly, I’m trying them all, and learning from each outcome whether positive or negative…
And as I said, it’s not easy — I cannot tell you the number of opportunities and applications I have written in the past and I am still writing today — and some of these applications really squeeze the juice out of you. They force you to really think hard, to use your cognitive and interpersonal skills, to question your motives, your drive, your purpose, to rethink your value systems and subliminal dispositions. They tell you it’s not a test, and there’s no right or wrong answer — but there are unspoken criterias of exclusion because obviously they didn’t choose you. There are assessments that take you out of yourself and into an alternate realm and they can be harsh and hard realities.
There are applications for opportunities that have taken me days, weeks, months to complete. There are some that have required extensive essays and exams, video submissions and group dynamic sessions, and they all can be so intricate, immersive and exhausting. And not all of them work out, despite the fact that you know you’re an excellent fit and would do an amazing world of good given the chance. It can be downright depressing. I know.
Nonetheless, it is a mark of growth to keep iterating and shape-shifting towards positive improvement. It is advancement when you fail forward. There would be opportunities to win too, which would only be acquired when you don’t stop trying and you don’t give up.
I have said this countlessly and I would say it again: “I can live with trying and failing. What I absolutely cannot live with is not trying at all, and having that endless gnawing of my soul and conscience that I did not do my best when I could’ve, or I did not seize an opportunity when I should’ve. Let me do my best and let me even fail — it is enough for me — any other thing is unacceptable.”
A few months ago, we hired a consultant to support us with some work, and he casually said something that has stuck with me since. He indicated that in their organisation, their strategy was to win 3 out of every 10 opportunities they bidded or applied for. It was a very conservative, but also very realistic approach given their internal dynamics.
And so, that’s another thing that I’m adopting — this 3/10, even in this year of saying yes to everything. I may not win at every attempt, but sometimes just one opportunity won is enough to completely change the trajectory of your life forever! And since we may not always be able to tell which stone we step on might actually be a spring board, let’s keep strategically stepping on them all to get our 3 out of 10!
A few days ago, I was speaking with a friend and senior colleague from another government Ministry in Ghana — he asked me if I was still with my former institution and I replied that I’d left. He said, “That’s bold! You’re bold,” I laughed and said, “…so I’ve been told.” (I hope you caught the word play lol).
I remember when that former organisation was going through a structural re-alignment and there was so much uncertainty about the outcome for us as civil servants (it was not about job loss, rather about possible posting to another government institution and what that would mean for us), one of our senior colleagues had asked everyone in the room during a staff meeting what their deepest fears about the changes/uncertainties might be, in a bid to calm the storms.
When it got to my turn, I said, “I am afraid that I would be taken to another institution where I would not be given the platforms and opportunities to fully express my capacities or maximize my potentials through my work. I am afraid that I would not have this current, like-minded positive synergy within my work environment to do great work and continue to make a difference when change finally comes.” I love my job — I love loving my job, which is well grounded in my intrinsic drive to make a difference in the lives of others no matter how great or small — and I enjoy being useful, valuable and productive wherever I find myself and I wouldn’t want to lose that in my work, even today...
And I remember that colleague said, “Don’t be afraid of change. Change can be a good thing. And why are you looking only at the downside, why not consider the bright side where a potential shift could put you in an even better position and proffer even better opportunities?” So I listened.
Over the phone, my friend said I was bold, and that he liked that about me; my ability to make bold decisions and act on them, and I’d tell you why. Working in a government job is seen by most as the cream of the cream of the skimmed cream.
It’s one of the most stable jobs you’ll find in this volatile economy of unprecedented layoffs and financial difficulties — your salary will always come— people are rarely fired — there’s unprecedented exposure to high-level influence and international networks as a government official. And for a woman, it’s flexible enough to allow you easily take care of your family and children as opposed to private sector work (I was told this severally by well meaning people, as a selling point, as a bid to support my womanness). To top that off, I’d been working in one of the prestigious Ministries led by a very respectable Minister. And then we’d transitioned in our structural realignment to be a Secretariat under the Office of the President — that name alone — Office of the President, was game changing. And to choose to leave all that must have been bold!
People are falling over each other trying to get employment into the public sector and you left?! That must have been bold!
It was a similar reaction my former COO and a few others had when I wanted to leave my bank job to take up a role in the public sector. It seemed bold (and a bit silly at the same time) to leave the bank, taking a huge pay cut, and for what?! to become a civil servant! But I believed in my place in public leadership — and I believed in truly making a difference in lives, governments and economies, so I did it. I left and went into public service — and I am staying in public serve through my career in international development. This is my home! Service. Service in global proportions — and it doesn’t matter if the roles change, the mission still remains the same. Service to humanity.
Service to humanity, inspired by my calling and purpose as a child of the Most High God... A Biblical Joseph in a woman, dispensing the grace and wisdom of God through public leadership…
Anyway, what I’m trying to say in all of this is to be very open to taking opportunities and saying yes to every good one that comes your way. Every opportunity births a change. I’m saying do not be afraid of change, even if it feels silly or requires enormous amounts of courage and boldness — it just might lead you to great destinations you never thought possible.
So say yes! Say yes often! Say yes today! My year of saying yes to everything! And so far, it’s been going great! It’s a lot of hard work, with immense sacrifices and several disappointments, but I won’t have it any other way!
#robbiewrites #radiantrobbie 9.7.2022 #sayingyes #opportunity
